Battle of the Sexes

The concept of being a man, and the idea of manliness, has been debatable in recent decades due to acts of feminism. Paul Theroux wrote Being a Man and was very opinionated as he said the idea of manliness was wrong and oppressive. Harvey Mansfield wrote The Partial Eclipse of Manliness, and stated that the concept of being manly has diminished and been overpowered by feminism. Both of these readings have provided valid and doubtful points in the discussion of what constitutes being manly, as well as how North American culture views the stereotypical man. Both authors are very opinionated and biased in their readings as they do not have any outside sources supporting their beliefs, but they do make effective arguments which further their attitude and outlook on manliness. In Paul Theroux’s reading Being a Man, it is stated that man can be categorized as stupid, arrogant, and much like pre-historic cavemen. Theroux continued to say that if someone were born as a man, there would be limits of what he is physically, emotionally, and mentally capable of. His highly personal view of how men act relates to a time when men were expected to aspire to be the so-called perfect man. The stereotypical perfect man is theoretically defined as brash, built, strong, athletic, and overall a poor loser when it involves any form of competition. It is also claimed that the typical man should be stupid, unfeeling, obedient, and ultimately soldierly. Theroux argued that these qualities eventually create poor husbands, sadists, and potentially rapists. Although this could happen, it is very unlikely that the majority of men with those characteristics will end up malicious and violent like Theroux stated. Mansfield’s approach to the deterioration of masculinity faulted women. He believed manliness is dubious as women over the years have been referred to with manly intentions. He felt that feminism has not only succeeded, but dominated current culture. For example, policemen and mailmen are no longer in existence, but rather they are police officers and mailpersons. Mansfield thought the concept of manliness had diminished to the point of becoming obsolete. He felt the concept of manliness, being strong, emotionless, and violent, cannot include women. He wanted women to continue to be meek, petit and frail; the direct opposite of what his ideal man is supposed to be. As a view from people who have rarely been referred to as masculine, many women are able to offer an unbiased honest opinion when it comes to the broad term of being manly. As someone who has never personally been associated with masculinity, I feel these readings present both current and outdated views on what manliness is. Both readings had a similar message of establishing man but they portray them in different ways. Theroux’s reading expressed how he felt uneasy, unsure, and apprehensive when it came to the term manly as he viewed it as degrading. As a woman’s perspective, I feel that the term manly is far from shameful or dishonourable. A manly man is something many women look for in a prospective partner as a shy, emotional, and weak male is undesirable. This is not because women are too concerned with physical appearance and mental capacity, but because women are wired to look for mates with these qualities. This dates back to days of cave men and women when language was limited and appearances were the only means of finding a mating partner. In my view, it appears that Theroux is attempting to understand the term â€Å"being a man† at face value while disregarding the fact, that not everyone associates a man with the qualities he has previously stated. In comparison to Theroux’s reading, Mansfield concentrated more on the aspect of how manly qualities are being given to women. Women are now able to take on the characteristics of being masculine and as a result, the definition of being a man has been altered and is unclear. Mansfield’s reading demonstrates a fear of being second-rate in comparison to female counter parts when in truth he has nothing to be concerned over. In my opinion, his panic of inferiority in unnecessary as women will always be considered the lesser sex. Regardless of how much effort is put into gender equality, women will always be initially seen as soft and sweet while men will be primarily viewed as rough and tough. Both Theroux and Mansfield refer to the same point but in different ways: Are men to just live with this degraded status? If women can take on the characteristics of being manly then what makes a man? Being manly is in no way considered a degraded status from my perspective, but a term of affection instead. As for women taking on characteristics of being manly, I feel they choose to be referred to masculine. It does not deteriorate the idea of men being manly but rather makes women much more like man. The authors have very old fashioned views of how a modern culture should be when they state: a male should be masculine and a female should be feminine.